The Actor’s Practice: "The Gifts We Get For Free"

Hi Actor,

Go with me on this.

You meet someone, and they immediately made you laugh. As you observe a little longer, and see them interact with others, you notice it's not just you, its everyone they come in contact with. Everyone seems to be laughing and enjoying their time with this person. You meet another person and they can seemingly connect with everyone at any event not through humour but this time, through familiarity. Another can tell stories masterfully, effortlessly holding others attention in the palm of their hands. Perhaps, You're sitting in class and a budding actor is up working on this week's designated scene. They have this effortlessness that you dream of having. Perhaps alternatively they can cry on cue, a single tear rolls down their face on command. Perhaps another person brings out unwritten comedic hilarity with seemingly no effort at all. Maybe they are just inherently quirky or sexy or are just totally sincere. They are doing this every time they show up and it's kind of frustrating at how well they do it. You might notice that they behave this way off camera too. It's crazy! They get these talents for free. It's not fair! They don't need to try at all to tap into these unique qualities.

"They get these gifts for free."

I'll let you in on a little secret. They don't get them free of charge. Or perhaps they do but it's more complicated than that. Some people are inherently funny. Why? Because they practice expressing their humour every day. Some people are naturally familiar. Why? Because they practice connecting with every person they meet. Some people are cool and effortless because they are unapologetic about who they are every day. Do you see what I'm getting at here? These people are the way they are because they practice being "that way" every day. If you want these gifts for free, you need to practice them. Daily.

So, how do you get this stuff for free? Two ways:

1st: If you already have it, get out of your own way.

Chances are you already possess a certain amount of qualities. Find out from others what traits they think you have. Start by asking people outside of the industry - A trusted friend is a good starting point. Do they think you're funny, intelligent, word savvy, sexy, witty, bold, blunt? Let them come up with the answers, don't feed them the adjectives you're hoping they'd say. After getting a clear sense from a few trusted/close people, start to notice how other people interact with you. Why? Because some people might not feel comfortable telling you that you're "unapologetic" for example. So just observing is the next step. You can also ask yourself, if you aren't overly negative. In fact if you are "your own worst critique", chances are that you have the talent of sensitivity on your side. This talent is huge for actors. Once you've found some of these qualities within yourself it's just about getting out of your own way. Stop any filtering of these parts of yourself in your day to day interactions and at work. If you know you have it, lean into it. Practice it more. Master it.

2nd: If you don't have it, practice at it daily till it becomes second nature.

Noticing desired qualities in others is actually your first step here. Spend a little time watching what these people do (eg. Face to face interactions or footage if they're a celebrity). This can be considered the "Priming" part of the exercise. Now go about practicing it a little every day till you naturally have that desired quality.

Make it a habit. Work on it systematically. Be creative with how you approach it too. If your chosen quality is to be "funny". Spend time every day connecting to your own humour. This can be done by watching your favourite comedies; By purchasing yourself a joke book that you open at the start and end of every day to read (In fact I particularly recommend reading the first part of the joke and then spend 1-5 minutes curiously thinking about how the joke may end, before inevitably checking your answers against what was written in the book). In addition, look for opportunities of moments of humour in your day to day interactions; Or if you're really brave, jump up on the stage of an amateur standup comedy night once a month, with your own material.

Want to be great at improve? Mentally say "yes and" to every person you meet's jokes, even if it isn't your kind of humour. Join an improv class too if you have the money and practice the exercises you learn in class every day.

If you want to be in touch with your own emotions, spend a little time each day crying or laughing while thinking about things that matter to you. The goal here actually isn't to cry and laugh but rather is to connect to what emotionally stirs you. What moves you? Spend time, being curious and express yourself. NOTE: Be careful with this one - many people have trauma that would be highly unhelpful to be tapping into every day. Be smart about this, if you want to work through this stuff with a therapist then that is probably a better bet.

Memorisation is something you want to be able to master? Again, practice. Daily memorisation exercises are the way to go. Remembering the names of people you meet can be a great exercise to keep you sharp.

If you want to work on being bold and assertive, practice exercises that get that part of you out. Off the top of my head I know Dialectic Behaviour Therapy has some good ones surrounding the word "Sorry". Go check that out.

With every single one of these, you need to be curious and you need to be searching for how YOU connect to the quality/ value. It might feel uncomfortable, clunky and awkward at first, particularly if you haven't done this work before. If you want to be a great storyteller or funny or familiar, unapologetic, sexy, dramatic, intelligent, charming, creative, quirky, quick witted or become an improvisation genius - practice it every day in your own way until it becomes second nature and then... keep practicing. Get curious and work systematically to bring these qualities into your life a little every day. Design exercises for yourself that gets you in touch with those parts of you. We all have every one of these qualities within us somewhere - we just need to bring them out.

Let me know in the comments section, firstly what qualities do you see in yourself ? Secondly, what qualities do you see in others that fascinate you. Maybe try adding that quality to your own life, daily. As always feel free to reach out directly. Check out the Contact page of the website to do so.

Talk soon.

Lachy

Lachlan is an Australian Actor who has been working within the industry close to a decade. He’s worked in Film & Theatre.

© Lachlan Stuart 2025